How To Cut Your Own Hair… Adequately

With an extended Sydney lockdown looming, it’s not as though getting a haircut was mane problem (pun intended). Keeping a job, maintaining physical and mental health and getting the second dose of the vaccine flowing through my veins are definitely top of my isolation to-do list. However on Saturday night, with the Boomers charging to victory in the background, I found myself craving a new challenge. And hair we are, trimming my locks-down.

The brainchild of lockdown boredom and vanity, I took out my phone and started searching for YouTube tutorials on how to cut my own hair at home. The goal; a simple tidy up of the back and sides with a very small trim on the top. After in-depth research (read as: one and half minutes) I landed on the below tutorial, mostly because of the production value in full transparency. My reasoning going only so far as believing that a YouTuber with a high-quality video would never be capable of dishing out poor advice when it came to such aesthetic business as a hairy. Enter; Mr Alex Kouras.

By pure luck, I had some brand new clippers in the cupboard and the kitchen scissors on standby. (I had accidentally bought hair clippers when shopping for a beard trimmer earlier this year that I was unable to return. Who’s laughing now Bing Lee?)

The whole process, including vacuuming up a substantial amount of my locks, took about 45 minutes, touch-ups included, and having emerged on Sunday morning with my scalp whole in tact, things truly could have gone much worse. Whilst this won’t be a habit I’ll be adopting when rejoining a functioning society, this seemed like the perfect time for a self-trim; zero social engagements, time to grow out any obvious disasters, and the ongoing ability to engage the old ‘broken camera’ excuse for any pending Zoom meetings.

And while it all turned out ok for me, heed the below advice before hacking away at your noggin. The potential for disaster remains high.

Top tips and non-negotiables:

  1. Make sure you have the proper mirror set up. This means one in front and one on a 45 degree angle behind.
  2. Go through the motions with the razor turned off. It took a while to orientate myself with the mirrors and manage a firm grasp on the razor.
  3. Take your time and go slow. Start with a length that is longer than you want – you can always go shorter but you can’t uncut your mane.
  4. Acknowledge that you WILL stuff it up. It won’t be professional, BUT it’s only hair, and it will grow back… hopefully.